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Spooky. That was the word for it. Spooky. May 22nd, 2016, everybody in town heard the sounds. Pikeville Kentucky, small town America, everybody knows everybody, one sheriff (Andy), one deputy (Barney), a safe haven in a chaotic world. A safe haven until that night. The town menfolk met at Floyd's Barber Shop to discuss the situation. Otis (known to hit the bottle a bit) swore the sounds were coming from the old Wilson farm root cellar. This was met with derision from most of the men in the room but Otis' next words chilled everyone to the bone. Luckily young Opie recorded the moment on his iPhone:

What the townsfolk didn't know but what I was able to discover through partially concealed public real estate records is that the old Wilson farm had been bought by Dennis Rodman and the sounds emanating from the root cellar came from just another one of his infamous hedonistic parties.

Rodman

Dennis denies this of course but I will always reveal the truth. I can only pity the townsfolk, if they contact anyone in Newport Beach they'll realize the horror is only just beginning.

 

Henry Way Kendall is known as one of the greatest particle physicist. He won the 1990 Nobel Prize in Physics for his participation in the originating research concerning deep inelastic scattering of electrons on protons and bound neutrons. This analysis has been of essential importance for the development of the quark model in particle physics.

Nobel Prize

What is not widely known is that Henry (using his nickname Harry), while acquiring his PhD at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, tried to supplement his income at a local auto repair shop. As this, for the most part unobtainable video shows, he was not entirely successful:

I guess you should have stuck to the abstract Henry. MIT did their best to suppress this incident but the truth must be told!

 

Britney Spears continues a stellar career but in the year 2007, for no apparent reason, her life seemed to spiral out of control. I will now reveal to you the true cause of her personality issues. Here is the story of the doomed secret Apollo 18 mission.

Apollo 18

Britney had always dreamed of becoming an astronaut and in 2006 she finally got her chance. President George W. Bush, a huge Britney fan, signed her on as one of the crew for the top secret Apollo 18 moon mission. So you don't believe me? Try arguing with this short suppressed footage:

Why are they not wearing space suits you ask? This was the first test of an experimental lunar terrestrial dome. All went well until an unknown toxic gas began leaking from the strange glowing rocks. The effects were immediate and devastating. The crew began displaying manic behavior and Britney was the only one to escape with most of her sanity intact. The other astronauts on this mission are sadly confined to mental institutions. The story of these brave space explorers was never meant to see the light of day but I reveal it to you here at Odd Conspiracy Central.

 

Tim Tebow is one of the good guys. I guy you want to see succeed. He jumped to the rescue of a heart attack victim on his flight from Atlanta to Phoenix. He stepped in to help a fan experiencing a seizure at one of his minor league baseball games. A great guy but he just can't seem to make it to the that elite class of players in either his football or baseball career.

Tim Tebow

Here, at Odd Conspiracy Central, I will finally disclose the true reason. Sports is not Tim Tebow's primary career! He practices sports but not to near the extent that he practices for his main job. Tim Tebow is a Knight Templar.

Knight Templar

It's true, he is hear to defend mankind during the End of Days. When your choice is between being a great ballplayer or saving the world from eternal damnation, I think Tim has made the right choice.

 

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