Politics

There's trouble brewing in north east Canada. Embolden by Britons exit from the EU, a movement started in the small town of Kugaaruk to secede from Canada (Kugaaruxit).

Mayor Stephan Inaksajak dismissed it as drunken rabble rousing but enough signatures had been gathered to force a referendum. Stephen was also shocked to find out that the movement leader was Peter Inaksajak, his estranged brother. When voting day came, Kugaaruxit was passed with a surprisingly large margin. 52% pro, 48% against, 401 votes to 370 (amazingly there was 100% voter turnout.) Take a look at this cellphone footage recorded at the pro Kugaaruxit campaign headquarters when the votes were finally tallied (notice their distinctive voting day uniforms):

Stephan Inaksajak immediately resigned as mayor. Peter Inaksajak quickly claimed the title and sealed the deal by taking the entire town to the "Raging Moose Bar and Grill" and buying a round (call it campaigning). When a reporter inquired of Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, about Kugaaruk's intention to secede, he was heard to say "where?"

Anthony Weiner's sexting scandal (Weinergate) is fading from the spotlight but little is known of the events that occurred inside the Capitol building leading up to his resignation. Both Democrats and Republicans have vigorously guarded this secret department of the House of Representatives but I expose it to you now on Odd Conspiracy Central. With great difficulty, I have been able to obtain one of the last copies of this damning film clip. It speaks for itself:

Yes, that's Anthony Weiner and Nancy Pelosi on the third floor of the Capitol building. The third floor is the home of the dedicated psychiatric doctors and nurses of the SLTCS (Secret Looney Tunes Congressional Service).

After all, we can't have our Congressmen and Congresswomen wearing their tin foil hats in public.

Elena Kagan, an alumni of Princeton, Oxford, and Harvard Law School, a former law professor at the University of Chicago, and now the 112th justice appointed to the supreme court.

How much success can one woman have? But is it what she really wanted? What you don't know about is Elena's soulful, harmonious singing voice and her passionate love for the late 70s, early 80s disco scene. Despite her fathers threat to disown her, she ventured out on her own and launched her musical career with her band "Elena and the Hamlet People". The bands success quickly flourished. Almost a year later, Elena's mother, tears streaming, finally convinced her to visit home. Expecting an immediate confrontation with her father, she found him a heartbroken, defeated man. Music is one thing but family is another. She reluctantly decided to put aside her blossoming disco career and go back to law school. Don't believe me? I obtained one of the only remaining videos of Elena's band performing:

You should be dancing Elena and you can ring my bell anytime.

Anthony Weiner just can't seem to control himself. Give him a camera and it's Weiner on the net. One thing about Anthony, he is resilient. With all the scandal his political options are limited but he is currently running for Suffolk County Animal Control Chief.

Hey, you've got to work yourself back from somewhere. I wish him all the luck but it looks like his sexting proclivity is going to get in the way again. I was able to sneak out a pre-release of his campaign poster.

Anthony, get hold of yourself (NO, not literally!!) I know it's an obsession but you're running out of chances.