Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Covens, satanic cults, poltergeists, vampires, werewolves...

Bring these supernatural threats out of the shadows.

Robert Stephen Beecroft, the United States Ambassador to Egypt was having a quiet night at home playing checkers with his family. Suddenly there was an unexpected visitor. This security video clip will show more than any words could explain:

Ambassador Beecroft refused to listen until the intruder explained why he was wearing a mask no matter how long the story. The Masked Zookeeper began his explanation, and I quote: "It all began in 12th century Spain...  raising Asturian Mountain Cattle... at the advent of the industrial revolution... (3 hours later)... therefore, if the second son's profession is related in any way to animal husbandry, by tradition he is required to wear a mask." Whew, that was a long story!

Big Eared Bat

The bat the Masked Zookeeper was referring to is a sacred Egyptian Tomb Bat. Revered as the divine beast companion to Anubis, the God of the Dead. Ambassador Beecroft had procured a loan of the rare animal to the San Diego Zoo. These bats are apparently protected by an ancient Egyptian curse.


"Those who desecrate the sacred bat will feel the wrath of Anubis' minions." Of course Robert denies being superstitious at all but why then are the guards now carrying shears and wooden mallets? Possibly to cut ancient wrappings and crush Scarab Beetle hearts? Good luck with those mummies Robert.


Everyone knows of Roswell New Mexico, home of the alleged UFO crash. But what you don't know is that Walker Air Force Base just outside of Roswell is now the home of The Creature from the Black Lagoon. That's right, it wasn't just a movie. The creature is based on fact. The military base appears closed and vacant from the outside but inside who knows how many nefarious government projects are perpetrated right under our noses. Professor Johnny Santos, one of the original explorers who captured the creature, is trying to integrate it into human society. One such exercise was to teach the creature how to bowl.

Creature Bowl

This seemed to have a calming effect on the creature until this one fateful night. In the final position night of the summer league, the creature's team, the Primordial Pinbusters, were in a tight contest with the second place team, Sid's Spare Crew, when their leader Sid "accidentally" dropped his beer bottle during the creature's approach in the final tenth frame. The creature ending up throwing a lite shot resulting in a 5 10 split.  Sid's Spare Crew won the third and final game by 8 pins for the league championship. Only bowling? This security footage shows that the creature was not about to let bygones be bygones:

Poor Nancy, Sid's wife, if she only would have let him in! Professor Johnny Santos was easily able to cover up the creature's involvement as well as existences due to the obvious crush Sheriff Mac has on him. You won't be able to cover it up now Johnny, I'm exposing your hideous experiment to the world.


Living in Amityville, Long Island, can be spooky. Living next door to the Amityville murder house can be even spookier.


The Delgado family was nervous, but with the incredible deal they were able to negotiate, how could they possibly turn down their beautiful new 5 bedroom split level home. Moving in went smoothly, their new neighbors were more than welcoming and friendly, but on the seventh night, a moonless night, well, I'll let the security footage speak for itself:

Andrea Delgado was heard to say, and I quote: "I swear, it sounded like demons shrieking from the bowels of hell!!" Needless to say, they packed their belongings and moved back to Spain the next day. If only they had waited I could have explained it all to them. Apparently Roseanne Barr was visiting next door.

Roseanne Barr

And she had been practicing for her next rendition of the National Anthem.


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