Politics

Politics

Pry open the doors on the smoke filled rooms. Air out the politicians to public scrutiny.

Conspiracies

In the interest of finding common ground, Kellyanne Conway was finally able to arrange a meeting between President Trump and the Democratic members of the House of Representatives.

Donald Trump

All press was excluded but I disguised myself as a cocktail waiter (serving an oaky, buttery, chardonnay to die for) and was able to get the exclusive story for Odd Conspiracy Central. Everything started cordially but the atmosphere turned very chilly when Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi faced off in the middle of the House floor. Like a cat, I moved within range to record part of their conversation on my trusty Samsung Galaxy S6. And I quote:

Nancy Pelosi: "Oh yeah, well your wife talks funny!"
Donald Trump: "Oh yeah, well your shoes look stupid!"
Nancy Pelosi: "Oh yeah, well you're a doo-doo head!"
Donald Trump: "I know you are but what am I?"

At this point, decorum went out the window and the Capitol degenerated into chaos:

Mess with the bull, you get the horns. Of course, this encounter has been denied by, well, everybody. My evidence speaks for itself and if this story is false, why is the Democratic National Committee issuing red capes to all it's members of congress.

 

Politics makes for strange bedfellows but I don't remember any as strange as this. Revealed here first on Odd Conspiracy Central, Maxine Waters from the United States House of Representatives and Ted Cruz from the United States Senate have joined together to form the Commu-fasci-dema-repubcan party.

Maxine and Ted

Maxine and Ted aren't confirming or denying but I was able to gather this information from an anonymous source at the House Intelligence Committee. My source informed me the information was obtained using a "perfectly legal" phone interception. Apparently the current political climate has convinced Maxine and Ted that they can unify the extreme elements from both sides of the spectrum to the Commu-fasci-dema-repubcans (also known as "The Coalition of Constitutional Chaos"). Even more surprising is their chosen 2020 presidential candidate:

Alice Cooper

Alice Cooper

When asked about his qualifications to receive this nomination, Alice was heard to say "Hey, you got me, I'm just happy to get the gig".

 

The more things change, the more they stay the same. We all know Bill Clinton tends to take advantage of his interns but we never knew it's history.

Bill Clinton

Now, with this newly found footage, we can see Hot Springs High School student counsel president Bill Clinton (everybody called him Cal back then) interviewing a new intern:

Need we say more?

 

You may have heard that the Russians hacked into the DNC (Democratic National Committee). You may have heard that Russian hacking influenced the 2016 presidential election. But what I'm about to disclose is the most heinous act of cyber espionage in modern times. The Russians hacked into and vandalized the "Official Three Stooges Video Archive".

Stooges Putin

I guess we're going to have to call them Larry, Moe, Curly, and Vladimir. Why would they perpetrate this horrendous act? Apparently the Stooge's influence on Vladimir Putin is more intense than commonly known. During a tense meeting between, then president, Barrack Obama and Russian president Vladimir Putin, Obama ordered the cameras turned off while the two leaders took a breather. Obama, trying to ease the pressure, ordered a cheese platter.

Cheese Plate

This had the exact opposite effect as Vladimir exploded into a lactose induced rage. The cameras were off but, luckily for us, the audio was still recording. Judge for yourself:

Boy howdy, that Vladimir sure has his issues with cheese!

 

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