Politics

Politics
Pry open the doors on the smoke filled rooms. Air out the politicians to public scrutiny.

This is an excerpt from a recently suppressed Donald Trump interview:
 
Interviewer: Mr. Trump, you have stated that you will hit all of America's enemies hard the instant you take office.
Donald Trump: Very hard, so hard you wouldn't believe!
Interviewer: But we have conflicts circling the globe. How would you be able to disperses troops quickly.
Donald Trump: I would beam them there of course. It will be huge!
Interviewer: You would what?
Donald Trump: William Shatner, a close friend of mine, a really great guy, talked to me about beaming.
Interviewer: Beam them there? But that's impossible. Beaming is not a real thing. It breaks all the laws of quantum physics.
Donald Trump: Impossible? Think again. I'm the greatest deal maker in the world. I will meet with all members of congress, it will be huge, I guarantee we will repeal these stupid, politically correct, laws of quantum physics.
 
This interview is not expected to be released anytime soon but nothing can hide from Odd Conspiracy Central.
 

It is commonly accepted that the next major space expedition will be to land an astronaut on Mars. As incredible as this achievement would be, I have proof that a group of astronauts have already landed on Titan, one of Saturn's moons.

Saturn

Why wasn't this news released to the world? The mission launched from Cape Canaveral, March 17, 1998. This was during Bill Clinton's second term. In fact Bill Clinton himself flew on the mission. The trouble started with Susan Purebread, a young, up and coming intern for NASA. We all know of Bill's obsessive behavior with interns so it comes to no surprise that Susan was the target of Bill's obnoxious advances. After months of sexual harassment, poor Susan could take no more and desperately jumped from the space capsule to escape. Here is a short film clip I was able to smuggle out of a White House secure vault showing the horrible results.

Bill chased after her but unfortunately Susan, in her haste, had forgotten to put on her space helmet and quickly perished. The space ship immediately returned to Earth and a massive cover-up was put in place. I now, at great personal risk, expose this travesty of justice.

 

John Kasich is known for his political career as a senator from the great state of Ohio.

John Kasich

What is less known about him is John's early singing career. While attending The Ohio State University, John supplemented his income as the lead singer for his band "The Poli Sci Alpha Sigma Phi Stoners".

Pot Guitar

John has tried desperately to hide his past musical pursuits as "The Poli Sci Alpha Sigma Phi Stoners" where known as a party band and some of his "gigs" got pretty wild. Sorry John, you can't deny this rare footage I found of one of your groovy reefer crazed beach bashes at Put-in-Bay.

Hey John, don't Bogart that joint!

 

There have been rumors about the connections between the Clinton and Trump families but these are only rumors. I will now expose the secret that both families have tried so hard to suppress. Years back, Eric Trump and Chelsea Clinton made a run for the border to get married!

Wedding

Yes, it's true. Preposterous you say? Try arguing with this film clip:

Their plans ended when Secret Service agents caught up and dragged them back to their perspective homes. Under threat of being involuntarily committed for "therapeutic emotional treatment", the two parted ways. Do they still pine for each other or are they just two ships that passed in the night?

 

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