Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Covens, satanic cults, poltergeists, vampires, werewolves...

Bring these supernatural threats out of the shadows.

Robert Stephen Beecroft, the United States Ambassador to Egypt was having a quiet night at home playing checkers with his family. Suddenly there was an unexpected visitor. This security video clip will show more than any words could explain:

Ambassador Beecroft refused to listen until the intruder explained why he was wearing a mask no matter how long the story. The Masked Zookeeper began his explanation, and I quote: "It all began in 12th century Spain...  raising Asturian Mountain Cattle... at the advent of the industrial revolution... (3 hours later)... therefore, if the second son's profession is related in any way to animal husbandry, by tradition he is required to wear a mask." Whew, that was a long story!

Big Eared Bat

The bat the Masked Zookeeper was referring to is a sacred Egyptian Tomb Bat. Revered as the divine beast companion to Anubis, the God of the Dead. Ambassador Beecroft had procured a loan of the rare animal to the San Diego Zoo. These bats are apparently protected by an ancient Egyptian curse.


"Those who desecrate the sacred bat will feel the wrath of Anubis' minions." Of course Robert denies being superstitious at all but why then are the guards now carrying shears and wooden mallets? Possibly to cut ancient wrappings and crush Scarab Beetle hearts? Good luck with those mummies Robert.


Everyone knows of Roswell New Mexico, home of the alleged UFO crash. But what you don't know is that Walker Air Force Base just outside of Roswell is now the home of The Creature from the Black Lagoon. That's right, it wasn't just a movie. The creature is based on fact. The military base appears closed and vacant from the outside but inside who knows how many nefarious government projects are perpetrated right under our noses. Professor Johnny Santos, one of the original explorers who captured the creature, is trying to integrate it into human society. One such exercise was to teach the creature how to bowl.

Creature Bowl

This seemed to have a calming effect on the creature until this one fateful night. In the final position night of the summer league, the creature's team, the Primordial Pinbusters, were in a tight contest with the second place team, Sid's Spare Crew, when their leader Sid "accidentally" dropped his beer bottle during the creature's approach in the final tenth frame. The creature ending up throwing a lite shot resulting in a 5 10 split.  Sid's Spare Crew won the third and final game by 8 pins for the league championship. Only bowling? This security footage shows that the creature was not about to let bygones be bygones:

Poor Nancy, Sid's wife, if she only would have let him in! Professor Johnny Santos was easily able to cover up the creature's involvement as well as existences due to the obvious crush Sheriff Mac has on him. You won't be able to cover it up now Johnny, I'm exposing your hideous experiment to the world.


Living in Amityville, Long Island, can be spooky. Living next door to the Amityville murder house can be even spookier.


The Delgado family was nervous, but with the incredible deal they were able to negotiate, how could they possibly turn down their beautiful new 5 bedroom split level home. Moving in went smoothly, their new neighbors were more than welcoming and friendly, but on the seventh night, a moonless night, well, I'll let the security footage speak for itself:

Andrea Delgado was heard to say, and I quote: "I swear, it sounded like demons shrieking from the bowels of hell!!" Needless to say, they packed their belongings and moved back to Spain the next day. If only they had waited I could have explained it all to them. Apparently Roseanne Barr was visiting next door.

Roseanne Barr

And she had been practicing for her next rendition of the National Anthem.

The Montage Laguna Beach is considered one of, if not the most luxurious resort in the city of Laguna Beach, California.

Beach Resort

What you won't find on their website or in their brochures is their closely guarded, deadly secret: The resort encroaches on the territory of a deadly, primordial, humanoid / amphibian horror creature of death. Impossible you say? Let me share with you my newly discovered sad story of the demise of distinguished British vacationer Sir Edmund Highminded Stuckupman. He thought he was going to an exclusive black tie affair, little did he know it was a black tie affair of grisly sea monster bloody fangs and clawing death. So you don't believe me? It's hard to argue with this exclusive security footage I have obtained from an anonymous resort employee (even under threat of torture, I will never reveal his / her name).

I have edited out the last of this footage as it is far to grisly for this forum. How is it possible that the resort can keep these guest sacrifices secret? Patrons were carefully selected, men and women with no close family ties beyond the desire for their inheritances. In short, people who would not be missed.

OK, but there are only so many murders that can be covered up. By accident, a deterrent was found for the creatures murderess rampages. That deterrent is:



It was found that the only way to keep the creature from slaking its thirst for blood was to slake its thirst for Tequila. The resort, of course, denies all of this. Deny as they will, how do they explain the sacrificial pitcher of margaritas that are left religiously on the beach every evening!