Supernatural

Living in Amityville, Long Island, can be spooky. Living next door to the Amityville murder house can be even spookier.

The Delgado family was nervous, but with the incredible deal they were able to negotiate, how could they possibly turn down their beautiful new 5 bedroom split level home. Moving in went smoothly, their new neighbors were more than welcoming and friendly, but on the seventh night, a moonless night, well, I'll let the security footage speak for itself:

Andrea Delgado was heard to say, and I quote: "I swear, it sounded like demons shrieking from the bowels of hell!!" Needless to say, they packed their belongings and moved back to Spain the next day. If only they had waited I could have explained it all to them. Apparently Roseanne Barr was visiting next door.

And she had been practicing for her next rendition of the National Anthem.
 

The Montage Laguna Beach is considered one of, if not the most luxurious resort in the city of Laguna Beach, California.

What you won't find on their website or in their brochures is their closely guarded, deadly secret: The resort encroaches on the territory of a deadly, primordial, humanoid / amphibian horror creature of death. Impossible you say? Let me share with you my newly discovered sad story of the demise of distinguished British vacationer Sir Edmund Poshman. He thought he was going to an exclusive black tie affair, little did he know it was a black tie affair of grisly sea monster bloody fangs and clawing death. So you don't believe me? It's hard to argue with this exclusive security footage I have obtained from an anonymous resort employee (even under threat of torture, I will never reveal his / her name).

I have edited out the last of this footage as it is far to grisly for this forum. How is it possible that the resort can keep these guest sacrifices secret? Patrons were carefully selected, men and women with no close family ties beyond the desire for their inheritances. In short, people who would not be missed.

OK, but there are only so many murders that can be covered up. By accident, a deterrent was found for the creatures murderess rampages. That deterrent is:

Tequila

It was found that the only way to keep the creature from slaking its thirst for blood was to slake its thirst for Tequila. The resort, of course, denies all of this. Deny as they will, how do they explain the sacrificial pitcher of margaritas that are left religiously on the beach every evening!