Secret Organizations

Secret Organizations

Knights Templar, Freemasons, Fraternitas Saturni, Illuminati, Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, Carbonari, Ordo Templi Orientis, Pythagoreans, Skull and Bones Society, Ancient Order of Druids, ...

We all know they're out there and we all know they're up to something. This is the place to air their nefarious activities.

The Ancient Order of Druids has been around for centuries and continues to thrive.

Druid Temple

What is unknown is how this esoteric sect can recruit with such success. Unknown until now that is! I alone will disclose the horror of the forbidden dance. I was able to capture this short video clip with a hidden camera at one of their "Sacred Ceremonies".

WARNING: This dance has the ability to enthrall a man's soul! Do NOT look directly at the video. Avert your eyes and only use your peripheral vision.

Oh No!! Did you look directly at it? Quickly, while you still have some semblance of control, splash cold water on your face, run to the nearest Catholic church and confess! A few "Hail Marys" should hopefully lift the curse.


L'Cultic Cosmetics, a little known exclusive beauty products manufacturer has an invitation only, fashionable clientele. Male, female, rich, famous, especially rich and intensely protective of the company secrets. Posing as a reporter for "Cosmetics Quarterly", I was able to put a crack in the door to this secret organization. I discovered the leader of the cult is known only as the Black Widow.

Black Widow

Their most popular product is their "Hemo-G Intensive Care Anti-Aging Cream". Details are sketchy but it is rumored to take 10 years off your appearance with a single application.

Blue Jar

Sounds wonderful? I was able to hide a remote camera in the main manufacturing plant. For the first time ever, see the Black Widow and her faithful servant, "Paper Mache Head Man" (his friends call him Pappy),  fabricating this highly desired cream. Do you still think it's wonderful after viewing this footage?

VIRGIN BLOOD! No wonder numerous young female corpses had been discovered in the area. With further research I discovered that the Black Widow (possibly named Dorottya Bathory) is a distant relative of Elizabeth Bathory. Apparently this formula has been passed down through the family for generations. I'm a hunted man now but at least the story has been told.


It seems the Catholic Church has been trying to increase it's outreach for new, younger congregates. Not only is it attempting to address contemporary views, it is presenting a more welcoming environment. With this in mind, the Vatican initiated a new construction project.


Right in the heart of Vatican City, the first ever Catholic amusement park. Why haven't you heard of this? Apparently the park was deemed unsuccessful and destroyed before the first ticket was ever sold. You don't believe me? I was able to retrieve this one video clip before all evidence was destroyed. Judge for yourself:

This young couple from a secret focus group were the first to see the virtual reality ride "It's a Small World" in "Archbishop Land". Things only went downhill from there. I still don't understand the need for the cover-up. There's no shame in trying, just turn the other cheek.


Do you fear the Freemasons? You should!!! But the most dangerous secret organization is one you've never heard of, never heard of until now! I, at huge risks to myself, am exposing the CISR (Confederation of Intergalactic Sentient Reptiles), who's sole purpose is to reacquire world domination after the collapse of the Jurassic period.


These hideous cold blooded invaders, from their home planet Terra-Turtleus hidden deep in the center of the Antenna Galaxies, have been attempting world domination for eons.

Outrages you say? Unbelievable you say? Try to argue with this unreleased Cassini spacecraft footage:

Yes, the Intergalactic Sentient Reptiles have their time honored traditions. One of which being the Reptilian Olympics held on Saturn's largest moon, Titan. This is video of gymnast Mitch "The Big Shell" Gaylord on the Horizontal Bar. I've got to admit, that was a great dismount.

They know I'm exposing them, I can here them scratching on my windows.


I'm done for! it is up to you! You, the informed readers of Odd Conspiracy Central.