Whether they're from a distant galaxy, the Milky Way, or our own solar system, the aliens are here. Do they hide just outside our view or do they mingle among us? How do they perpetrate this global cover-up? Do they collude with our governments or is this a massive demonstration of mind control?

It's up to you, expose the aliens!

NASA has created the Office of Planetary Protection which is tasked:

To ensure that we take prudent precautions to protect Earth's biosphere in case life does exist elsewhere.

A reasonable precaution in case of an alien contact.

Alien Contact

It has been reported that a nine year old applied for the position of NASA planetary protection officer. Everybody thinks this is just a cute human interest story but it is much more. I have proof that the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) already has an elementary school aged Planetary Protection Crew in place and they have already made contact with an alien race! Don't believe me? I have secret footage that will destroy all doubt:

Why has this historic encounter been hidden from the public? Do the governments of Japan and the United States have something to hide or is suppressing information just something that governments do? Do these aliens only engage with children? I have filed an FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) request for details and I'm awaiting a response.

Update: I've been noticing suspicious looking men and women lurking (dressed in black suits and wearing dark glasses). I see them at my job, in my grocery store, at my Starbucks. Did I hit a nerve? I'm on the run now, in fear for my life, but I will not give up my quest for the truth!

Update: In the interest of full disclosure, I have discovered that there was a convention of "Blues Brothers" impersonators at the community center on the day I started noticing agents in dark suits and glasses. I understand this is a marginally acceptable explanation for what I've been experiencing but I remain skeptical.

The black op "Operation Cephalopoda Miscegenation". Never heard of it? Don't expect to read about it in the main stream media (toadies of the "Deep State")! Rumors are leaking from the upper Amazonian jungle of a cannibalistic, tentacled, bloodthirsty, slime oozing mutant that is terrorizing the indigenous tribes.


The silence is defining from the CIA, NSA, FBI, IRS, EPA, FDA, USDA, ATF, CDC, the Helsinki Commission, ICE, DOD, USDA, SSGMA (Super Soldier Genetic Manipulation Agency), the House of Representatives, the Senate, the White House, and numerous government agency that have never actually been disclosed to the American people. Do you think I'm just some nut spreading conspiracy theories? Do you think I'm unhinged? Do you think the short time that I was (voluntarily) institutionalized discredits my research? Well try to dispute my evidence now you pusillanimous jellyfish. During a gift exchange I was conducting with the remote Yanomami tribe, 11 year old Bushika gave me access to her iCloud account (Bushika is very modern for her tribe, kids these days...). Try to argue with this raw footage:

Is this an undiscovered species? A genetic mutation? Don't be an idiot!! I am now officially disclosing the unholy alliance between the United States Government and the Molluscious Intergalactic Counsel (that's what you get you UFO deniers) to establish an interspecies ruling class during the alien invasion. It's your choice, you can be a sheep or you can join the resistance.

Keep watching the skies!!


They first contacted me at the Golden Nugget Atlantic City Hotel, Casino, and Marina. There I was, applying my fool proof telekinetic slot wheel manipulation to a "2 10 5 Bonus Times" slot machine when the alien made his presence known.

Slot Machine

That is where I learned of the pending invasion. With a $500 payoff in my pocket (alien incentive to win my cooperation), I was left to ponder my decision.

As a completely unreasonable condition of my release from the Ancora Psychiatric Hospital, I am forced to attend a weekly group session with a circle of neanderthals and a one on one session with my ignorant case worker, Dr. Rorschach. In anticipation of this visit, using my excellent editing skills, I painstakingly, frame by frame, recreated my casino experience in this short video clip:

After relating my story and displaying my incontrovertible video evidence, Dr. Rorschach, in his infinite denseness, suggested "I should continue taking my lithium and practice my anxiety control exercises" (insufferable idiot).

Update: It only took one week to confirm the pending alien invasion. While withdrawing cash from my local "Super Foodtown" ATM machine, I was suddenly presented the option to "text my receipt to my cell phone".


"TEXT MY RECEIPT TO MY CELL PHONE"!!! Could the aliens make their recruiting of human collaborators any more obvious? "Super Foodtown" has clearly chosen to become the invader's infiltration storage facility. Will I join the aliens and become a regional supreme leader of the new extrinsic order? It would serve those "El Stupidos" at the psychiatric hospital right! Especially that egotist, Rorschach. The intergalactic troop transports will be here soon! I bet that will wipe that smug smile off your face Dr. "Smarty-pants" Rorschach!