Politics

Politics
Pry open the doors on the smoke filled rooms. Air out the politicians to public scrutiny.

Elena Kagan, an alumni of Princeton, Oxford, and Harvard Law School, a former law professor at the University of Chicago, and now the 112th justice appointed to the supreme court.

Elena Kagan

How much success can one woman have? But is it what she really wanted? What you don't know about is Elena's soulful, harmonious singing voice and her passionate love for the late 70s, early 80s disco scene. Despite her fathers threat to disown her, she ventured out on her own and launched her musical career with her band "Elena and the Hamlet People". The bands success quickly flourished. Almost a year later, Elena's mother, tears streaming, finally convinced her to visit home. Expecting an immediate confrontation with her father, she found him a heartbroken, defeated man. Music is one thing but family is another. She reluctantly decided to put aside her blossoming disco career and go back to law school. Don't believe me? I obtained one of the only remaining videos of Elena's band performing:

You should be dancing Elena and you can ring my bell anytime.

 

 

Anthony Weiner just can't seem to control himself. Give him a camera and it's Weiner on the net. One thing about Anthony, he is resilient. With all the scandal his political options are limited but he is currently running for Suffolk County Animal Control Chief.

Dog

Hey, you've got to work yourself back from somewhere. I wish him all the luck but it looks like his sexting proclivity is going to get in the way again. I was able to sneak out a pre-release of his campaign poster.

Wiener Poster

Anthony, get hold of yourself (NO, not literally!!) I know it's an obsession but you're running out of chances.

 

In the interest of finding common ground, Kellyanne Conway was finally able to arrange a meeting between President Trump and the Democratic members of the House of Representatives.

Donald Trump

All press was excluded but I disguised myself as a cocktail waiter (serving an oaky, buttery, chardonnay to die for) and was able to get the exclusive story for Odd Conspiracy Central. Everything started cordially but the atmosphere turned very chilly when Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi faced off in the middle of the House floor. Like a cat, I moved within range to record part of their conversation on my trusty Samsung Galaxy S6. And I quote:

Nancy Pelosi: "Oh yeah, well your wife talks funny!"
Donald Trump: "Oh yeah, well your shoes look stupid!"
Nancy Pelosi: "Oh yeah, well you're a doo-doo head!"
Donald Trump: "I know you are but what am I?"

At this point, decorum went out the window and the Capitol degenerated into chaos:

Mess with the bull, you get the horns. Of course, this encounter has been denied by, well, everybody. My evidence speaks for itself and if this story is false, why is the Democratic National Committee issuing red capes to all it's members of congress.

 

Politics makes for strange bedfellows but I don't remember any as strange as this. Revealed here first on Odd Conspiracy Central, Maxine Waters from the United States House of Representatives and Ted Cruz from the United States Senate have joined together to form the Commu-fasci-dema-repubcan party.

Maxine and Ted

Maxine and Ted aren't confirming or denying but I was able to gather this information from an anonymous source at the House Intelligence Committee. My source informed me the information was obtained using a "perfectly legal" phone interception. Apparently the current political climate has convinced Maxine and Ted that they can unify the extreme elements from both sides of the spectrum to the Commu-fasci-dema-repubcans (also known as "The Coalition of Constitutional Chaos"). Even more surprising is their chosen 2020 presidential candidate:

Alice Cooper

Alice Cooper

When asked about his qualifications to receive this nomination, Alice was heard to say "Hey, you got me, I'm just happy to get the gig".

 

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