Recent Conspiracies

Hot off the presses

Newly disclosed, hot off the presses, the most recent conspiracies...

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  • Cat Out Of Bag

    Wed, 06/15/2016 - 15:31

    There were about twenty of us. We woke up in the Pantages Theatre. No idea what we were doing there. No idea how we got there. A total blank.

    Theater

    I still had my wallet , keys, and money but my phone was gone. I found my trusty Camry in the parking lot and, still bewildered, drove home. Then and there I resolved to clear up this mystery! Firing up my MacBook Pro, I starting searching my iCloud account. Suddenly there it was, a scan of an invitation. It read: "The Antaeus Classical Theatre Company cordially invites you to the Pantages Theatre. You have been selected to view the final dress rehearsal of our new production "The Improvisational American Revolution". Cameras are not allowed!". A clue! I continued searching and there in my video files I found my answer. Apparently I had snuck in my iPhone and recorded parts of the play. After watching, I may have been better off just forgetting. Watch this excerpt from the midnight ride of Paul Revere:

    The scene ends with an awkward silence as the other actors really didn't know how to respond. I filmed the audience reaction during the Battle of Lexington scene:

    Was that Betsy Ross swinging that chair? I can only guess that the producers were so afraid of the reviews they would receive that they flooded the room with ketamine gas. I figure I won't be getting anymore special invitations but the truth must be told.

     

  • Truthsayer 7

    Mon, 06/06/2016 - 22:24

    A comet is named after the person or persons who discover it. Such was the case with the Peters-Hartley Comet discovered by professor Christian Peters and his graduate student Malcolm Hartley at the Whitin Observatory of Wellesley College.

    Observatory

    What has been suppressed from the general public is that Malcom brought a date to the observatory that night. Was an injustice done? I was able to recover this film clip from a reformatted drive on one of the astronomy departments computers. You be the judge:

    By all rights, it should be named Shirley's Comet. Taking credit for someone else's discovery! You two should be ashamed of yourselves!

     

  • Truthsayer 7

    Mon, 06/06/2016 - 12:58

    Much has been made of the United Kingdom's possible withdrawal from the European Union (Brexit) but practically nothing has been broadcast about a new movement to leave the Commonwealth (Commonwexit). This movement, started in Scotland by the UKIP party, is gaining a surprising amount of support even without publicity.

    Scotland

    In fact, David Coburn was heard to say in a recent speech in Aberdeen, and I quote: "Who needs the Commonwealth, they take our best Scotch and all we get back is Kiwi Fruit and Boomerangs".

    Kiwi Boomerang

    Remember, you heard it first here on Odd Conspiracy Central.

     

  • Truthsayer 7

    Mon, 05/30/2016 - 16:21

    The sanatorium, long abandoned, considered a blight in the otherwise peaceful little town of Arkham. The horrors that occurred in this notorious asylum are infamous. Evil practitioners of cruel experiments tormented their captive patients until the inmates finally rose up and turned the tables on their captors. The asylum personnel's screams were heard throughout Arkham that horrible night and none survived. The few remaining patients were quietly moved to other institutions and the Asylum remains boarded up to this day.

    Asylum

    The Arkham Sanatorium has been closed for years now but the townsfolk swear that if you stand outside the asylum gates around midnight, you will sometimes hear the insane laughter of the inmates past. Finding this hard to believe, I ventured outside the gates at midnight and, to my horror, I heard a maniacal shrieking coming from the asylum! I can not tell a lie, I ran away! The next morning I gathered up my courage, snuck into the asylum, and planted a hidden camera. The camera experienced technical problems but I was still able to grab enough footage to solve the mystery. A short audio clip was recorded directly before the video and I quote ". . . This is wonderful but what I really wanted was a 12 inch pianist."

    With a little research, I found an advertisement for an amateur comedy night and kegger called "Hilarity at the Asylum" on the Facebook page of the Alpha Delta Pi sorority chapter of Miskatonic University. As Alpha Delta Pi is on double secret probation, any party is grounds for suspension so their influential parents are willing to do anything to suppress this story. Sorry sisters, the truth must be told.

     

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