Recent Conspiracies

Hot off the presses

Newly disclosed, hot off the presses, the most recent conspiracies...

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  • Cat Out Of Bag

    Fri, 04/01/2016 - 21:18

    Fraternities and sororities, brothers and sisters, life long friendships and exclusive career opportunities. What could be better? But beware, there is a dark side. Once a Greek, always a Greek, and they protect their own. At great personal risk to myself, I bring you the horrible events that occurred at Miskatonic University.

    University

    Raelyn Sanders, the victim of this tale of terror, was an outgoing sophomore who had recently transferred from the University of California, Santa Cruz, and enrolled with a major in psychology. With the promise of an epic kegger, Raelyn was lured to her death. This hidden camera footage proves the story that the Sigma Nu brothers and the Alpha Delta Pi sisters so vehemently deny.

    What could this young woman possibly have done to deserve this fate? First, she refused to pledge not only Alpha Delta Pi, but all the sororities on campus (she even had the nerve to call them creepy!) She then stole the boyfriend, Professor Alfred Kinsey, head of the Psychology department, from one of the Alpha Delta Pi's most popular sisters (the mascara was definitely running that night.) But the last straw, she aced all of her midterms completely throwing off the bell curve. Four Sigma Nu brothers and five Alpha Delta Pi sisters could no longer go to Cancun for spring break (their fathers would only pay if they maintained at least a 2.4 grade point average.)

    Cancun

    The elders finally went into action. Elizabeth Selwin, head of the Alpha Delta Pi death squad still denies this event and with their alumni of politicians and judges, she and her co-conspirators will probably get away with it. At least Raelyn Sanders' fate is now known.

     

  • Cat Out Of Bag

    Sat, 03/26/2016 - 20:59

    Amazon successfully delivers products all over the world but, to cut costs, they have diligently been attempting to create an automated drone to handle this job.

    Drone

    Although there has been an intense cover up, I now have proof that their early attempts were far from successful. I was able to intercept an internal email with this film clip attached.

    With hush money totaling in the millions of dollars this incident was successfully concealed until now. The truth always eventually rises to the surface.

     

  • Truthsayer 7

    Sat, 03/26/2016 - 12:32

    John Kasich is known for his political career as a senator from the great state of Ohio.

    John Kasich

    What is less known about him is John's early singing career. While attending The Ohio State University, John supplemented his income as the lead singer for his band "The Poli Sci Alpha Sigma Phi Stoners".

    Pot Guitar

    John has tried desperately to hide his past musical pursuits as "The Poli Sci Alpha Sigma Phi Stoners" where known as a party band and some of his "gigs" got pretty wild. Sorry John, you can't deny this rare footage I found of one of your groovy reefer crazed beach bashes at Put-in-Bay.

    Hey John, don't Bogart that joint!

     

  • Hide In Plain Sight

    Sun, 03/20/2016 - 17:47

    In the search for extraterrestrial life forms we may need to look back 160 million years ago. Evidence has come to my attention of a visit from giant humanoids.

    Spaceman

    During an archaeological dig at Hell Creek Montana back in the nineteen eighties, a strange crystal was found that carbon-dated to the Jurassic Period. The crystal was filed away and forgotten until I recently rediscovered it. By analyzing the strange color pattern in the crystal I discovered it to be a digital encoding of a short audio /  video clip. Warning: this film is not for the faint of heart. Watch as these violent aliens slaughter an innocent family of Tyrannosaurus Rex.

    My evidence is under dispute but hopefully these homicidal spacemen will not be returning to Earth any time soon.

     

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