Recent Conspiracies

Hot off the presses

Newly disclosed, hot off the presses, the most recent conspiracies...


  • Jon Bon Jovi is a superstar. With the amount of media attention he receives, you probably think you know everything there is about him.

    Jon Bon Jovi

    Here's one thing you don't know and I'm sure something Jon doesn't want you to know. In his younger years, he was an extreme camper otherwise known as a survivalist. Don't believe me? Try explaining this film clip I have acquired:

    Jon would have a helicopter drop him in the middle of a forest with no supplies. He would then survive his way back to civilization. Jon caught his food with his bare hands and would eat it raw. He would fashion his clothes from the skins of the creatures he captured. This was probably considered to intense for his fans which is why he kept it a secret. Sorry Jon, the truth must be told.


  • The crash of the UFO at Roswell New Mexico has been a mystery for years. A mystery until now! I will finally  reveal the true facts of the incident. First off, a UFO actually did crash despite the attempt to cover it up. This short film clip I was able to salvage proves it:

    I was able to get the true story from sergeant Micky McGregor, M.P. retired. After a few shots of rye to loosen his tongue, he told me how he and his squad pulled an alien from the burning wreckage of it's flying saucer.  It was extremely belligerent and they were forced to lock it in the drunk tank over night. The next morning the alien, with a blistering hangover, claimed it had blacked out and didn't remember anything.


    All of a sudden another space craft from the IHP (Intergalactic Highway Patrol) removed it's cloaking and appeared, bubbles flashing, within the military base. Although the alien breathed nitrogen instead of oxygen and even after a night in the tank, it still blew a 0.18 in the nitro-breathalyzer. After a short discussion over jurisdiction the prisoner was turned over to the IHP. The alien was convicted of space piloting while drunk. It was fined 3000 gloplets, required to attend 15 AAA (Alien Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings, and issued a restricted license only allowing it to pilot from it's home planet to the Great Nebula in Orion and back.

    Despite the government cover up, you may now see the sleazy details.


  • This is known by very few people but Wolfgang Puck was going to open a new Spago in Jakarta Indonesia. Before the opening there was an invitation only preview available to a select gathering of international celebrities. The menu was excellent, the wine selections perfectly matched, and the service personnel flawless. After the meal, dessert was served.

    Creme Torch

    This is when disaster struck. Wolfgang insisted on personally searing the Creme Brulee. Apparently he was a bit out of practice as shown by this security camera footage I was able to acquire.

    The restaurant is shuttered now with no evidence left of it's association with Wolfgang Puck or Spago. No evidence until now!


  • Zombies are a horror movie staple. Grotesque, shambling remnants of what was once a human being with only the desire to consume human brains.


    What is even more horrible is that they are real! Yes, a failed special forces experiment to create a more resilient soldier went horribly wrong. Real zombies however, are not as mindless as the movies portray them. The results of this horrible experiment reside in a secluded section of area 51. They form somewhat normal familial bonds and even have children. The U.S. military denies this of course, but they can't argue with this short film clip recorded by a proud zombie parent taken at the Undead High School Senior Prom:

    Aah, young love.