Unclassifiable

Unclassifiable
These conspiracies are so insidious, they defy classification.
Let it be known that no conspiracy can hide from Odd Conspiracy Central.

Dr. Arron Spalding, professor of Herpetology at Florida State University loves his reptiles. He especially loves crocodiles. The university has done everything possible to suppress the circumstances of his studies but he apparently let his love of crocodiles go a bit to far.

Professor Crocodile

Interspecies breeding is next to impossible but the professor met a particularly fetching young reptile and I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. Three months later junior was hatched. Dr. Spalding, being an honorable man, made his mate an honest crocodile in a short ceremony with a particularly open minded justice of the peace. Despite prejudice from both species, the couple does their best to make the marriage work. Their traditional annual family reunion is an example of their resolve. I was able to hide a camera capturing this footage of the time-honored pool party:

Just like every year, dad complains the water is to cold until junior unceremoniously throws him in. I can hear mama croc in the background. "Stop that horseplay you two, you're going to put your eye out."

A comet is named after the person or persons who discover it. Such was the case with the Peters-Hartley Comet discovered by professor Christian Peters and his graduate student Malcolm Hartley at the Whitin Observatory of Wellesley College.

Observatory

What has been suppressed from the general public is that Malcom brought a date to the observatory that night. Was an injustice done? I was able to recover this film clip from a reformatted drive on one of the astronomy departments computers. You be the judge:

By all rights, it should be named Shirley's Comet. Taking credit for someone else's discovery! You two should be ashamed of yourselves!

 

There were about twenty of us. We woke up in the Pantages Theatre. No idea what we were doing there. No idea how we got there. A total blank.

Theater

I still had my wallet , keys, and money but my phone was gone. I found my trusty Camry in the parking lot and, still bewildered, drove home. Then and there I resolved to clear up this mystery! Firing up my MacBook Pro, I starting searching my iCloud account. Suddenly there it was, a scan of an invitation. It read: "The Antaeus Classical Theatre Company cordially invites you to the Pantages Theatre. You have been selected to view the final dress rehearsal of our new production "The Improvisational American Revolution". Cameras are not allowed!". A clue! I continued searching and there in my video files I found my answer. Apparently I had snuck in my iPhone and recorded parts of the play. After watching, I may have been better off just forgetting. Watch this excerpt from the midnight ride of Paul Revere:

The scene ends with an awkward silence as the other actors really didn't know how to respond. I filmed the audience reaction during the Battle of Lexington scene:

Was that Betsy Ross swinging that chair? I can only guess that the producers were so afraid of the reviews they would receive that they flooded the room with ketamine gas. I figure I won't be getting anymore special invitations but the truth must be told.

 

Breaking a Verizon wireless contract is impossible. No one has ever done it, there's no reason to even try.

Cellphone

At least that's what Verizon wants you to believe. What you won't here about is Tommy Terino. Tommy  was not satisfied with his service and decided he was going to break his contract no matter what. Impossible you say? Decide after you view this suppressed security footage of Tommy visiting the highly fortified Verizon Wireless store in Sante Fe New Mexico:

So you CAN break your Verizon contract but I recommend military training.

 

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