Unclassifiable

Unclassifiable
These conspiracies are so insidious, they defy classification.
Let it be known that no conspiracy can hide from Odd Conspiracy Central.

You won't hear about it in the main stream media, no headlines in your local newspaper, not even a photo spread in National Geographic. Nobody is talking about the horrific developments in the annual Monarch butterfly migration.

Monarch Butterfly

I, with the aide of my fellow truth seekers, will now expose every sordid detail of this heinous cover-up.

Let me introduce you to Sargent Gomer Carter, an unassuming service man assigned to Vandenberg Air Force Base. Sargent Carter was investigating a possible perimeter breach when he came upon a grotesque intruder. The intruder that would make him pay the ultimate cost, HIS LIFE! How do I know this? Always on the watch, my tech team was able to intercept the transmission of this periphery security footage before it was "accidentally" destroyed. Judge for yourself:

What was that thing? At great risk to our lives, my associate and I ventured fearlessly into the fray (she is being pursued by multiple security agencies from numerous countries for her past whistle blowing so we refer to her only as "Agent 99"). We where lucky to make it out alive thanks to my expert rock throwing skills:

Now the near impossible research began to find the source of this abomination. Luckily, "Bug Eyes" Norman, a fellow truth finder and amateur entomologist, realized that the location of the attacks lies directly in the Monarch butterfly migration path. With this clue we back traced the migration route where we found a particularly aggressive swarm of butterflies frantically feeding on a begonia patch next to the Pasadena Gold's Gym franchise. The stakeout was on and it didn't take long. After 2 days, we observed gym member Bruno "Pumpin' Iron" Strombowski.

Muscles

We watched Bruno hiding his stash of steroid vials in the tainted flower patch. The answer was now obvious. We anonymously reported Bruno to the local authorities. Almost immediately the gym was surrounded by black Escalades. Bruno was hustled into one of the SUVs to never be seen again (Gold's Gym is denying he was ever a member). The steroid contaminated begonia patch of death was covered in three feet of concrete. The threat however, has not disappeared. Instead of "float like a butterfly" it is now "attack with gnashing teeth and razor sharp slashing wings like a butterfly". Why is the government suppressing knowledge of these mutant "roid rage" Monarch butterflies? Who will be next to unwittingly cross their path? Only time will tell, only time and Odd Conspiracy Central!

P.S. To all government agencies attempting to identify us from our harrowing film clip, false faces where superimposed to protect our identities. You will never block us from seeking the truth.

 

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